As with any life-threatening experience, there is always much to be reflected on and learnt. I have always known that patience is not my strongest trait. In fact, if anything, I am relatively impatient and like to see the fruits of my labour almost immediately. Yes, just one of those city dwellers who like to get things done fast in order to see the results. However, since my accident, I’m beginning to understand and internalize the phrase that good things come to those who wait and be patient about everything.
Patience is the key to a lot of things in my life at the moment. The long recovery time needed for my neck fracture to heal properly and completely. As much as I would like to return to a productive life as soon as possible, this injury is definitely not something that can be rushed, for the slightest mistake can result in paralysis or even death. That aside, I’ll also have to wait for the hair to re-grow, scars at pin sites to fade after removal of halo vest, teeth to be straightened while on braces, amongst many other things that I hope to expedite. Oh boy, for an impatient and fiery-tempered person like me, having to wait patiently for things to happen is akin to harvesting rice in a drought!
Come Tuesday, it will mark the 9th week that I have been trapped in a walking prison of my own (aka halo vest). Yes, 9 whole weeks! At times, it’s excruciatingly frustrating when everyone surrounding me are making exciting plans but I have to put a temporary halt to my life. 2014 was meant to be a year of exciting changes for me … I wanted to set greater heights for myself in yoga and aerial arts, embark on adventure trips with YMCA outdoor activities group to go kayaking, caving, trek mountains and travel. In reality, I found myself being home-bound to give my body the much needed time to recuperate. Hence, it’s disheartening to make plans to take 1 step forward in life; yet take 2 steps backwards at this point of time. When all is said and done, I’m proud that I have dealt extremely well with living with a halo vest for the past 2.5 months. If I can survive this, I sure can beat against other odds that life might bring forth. If all goes well, freedom beckons in 24 hours’ time and I hope to walk away from the clinic halo-free tomorrow! 🙂 With the big day just less than a day away, I must confess that I’m a mixed bag of emotions … Full of anticipation to be freed and be a step closer to being productive, but also full of nervousness because the halo vest has been my safety net for the longest time and I have absolutely no idea how my neck will hold out on its own. Will I be like 1 of those bobber head dolls? Will my neck crack with the slightest movement? Will I ever be able to move my neck without having to turn my torso? The list of question is endless!
Physically, my neck should be ready for the next phase of recovery but mentally, I’m not quite sure if I’m ready to take the plunge. There’s an overwhelming sense of anxiety within me and this psychological barrier is what that prevents me from stepping back into the “big and unknown world”. Figuratively, of course. On a good note, I will be on a cervical collar for awhile so we will be taking gradual steps to re-introduce strength and mobility to my neck . Once again, having patience is essential in the course of this journey. Patience, a crucial life skill that I have picked up from my experience and I hope to carry forward post-injury.
24 hours or 1440 minutes or 86 400 seconds left to go till the big removal. Let’s hope that my neck has healed and I would finally be halo-free tomorrow! Keeping my fingers crossed for the best piece of news, for I’ve been a good girl. :p