Truth to be told, I have contemplated really hard if I would like to share about my experience of an emotional release during some of my yoga classes. After all, it is extremely rare and weird to have someone bawling their eyes out in the middle of any yoga class (Personally, I have never seen anyone doing so). In other words, my ego doesn’t want to be seen as someone who’s “abnormal” or “bizarre” but my inner self felt that it was important to share my story and let anyone who happens to experience this release but think it’s awkward to know that it is alright and that there’s nothing wrong with it.
The scary thing about me is that when I’m really addicted to something, I can spend hours at it and likewise, I have, unknowingly, spent more than half of my day at my yoga studio … Attending classes after another. It started with Hot Stretch, followed by Hot Slimming Therapy, Hot Flow before ending off with Hot Back Bend. Honestly, my physical body did feel a tad burnt out (especially, when I was just surviving on a cup of milk with chia seeds and a slice of peanut butter bread for the entire time. I think Chia Seeds works wonders!) but I felt empowered and was energetic. It was almost as if nothing could stop me from continuing with my yoga practice all day. The physical asana practice, especially vinyasa, ashtanga and core yoga, have slowly toned my body and gave me the strength like none of the other exercises that I have done but more importantly, it is the slower forms of yoga that help me to cleanse my emotional body and provide me with a slightly better insight of my spiritual self. I know, it probably sounds all too hippie and skeptical for non-yogis. But hey, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. Back to the subject, I realised that I have slowly cultivated a liking for body opening yoga sequences such as back bending, hip opening and chest opening. These particular poses require my full concentration and dedication – To focus inward, relax and release the tensions in those tight areas. However, very often, it’s common to meet some form of resistance because of the fear of injuring oneself when you push yourself too hard. Taking this as an example, we can also relate it to our body that is often overworked to control and manipulate our emotions and behaviour when we are in public. Only when we relax and truly be ourselves, can these emotions come to surface.
And then, it happened when 1 of my instructor pushed me real hard in a standing back bend pose (dancer pose, for those of you who practice yoga) and I swear that something in my left thigh popped! Major ouch! I could feel the tears welled up in my eyes almost instantly. Yet, it wasn’t the ache/pain that caused me to tear. It was the fact that I was ready to let go of the fear of going further in that pose that resulted in me letting go some of the negative emotions and baggage that have been pent up within me for too long – consciously or subconsciously. Fortunately, we were at the tail-end of our class so when we finally settled into the corpse pose (Savasana), I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks immediately. Well, I must say that I controlled it well and only released the floodgates when I got into the shower cubicle and at home.
The emotional release was totally unexpected and a tad scary. I have gone for so many yoga classes in the past couple of years and I must say that this was probably only the 3rd time that I have experienced such a need to cry. Nonetheless, I must admit that this surreal moment of freeing myself a bit from the negative baggage felt so amazing and empowering. Quote me, I would dare say that it beats riding a thrilling roller coaster or even getting a month from work, any day. And I finally realised that it’s only when one is ready to let go and accept, then can they begin to release those emotional clutter and move on.
Live, Eat, Breath Yoga.