It has been 6 months since I posted my last blog entry … The longest blogging hiatus that I have taken since I first started this blog 5 and a half years ago. Sooo … As you can probably tell by now, much have come and gone in my life for the past 6 months and I have, honestly, been in a bit of a life funk lately. Somehow along the way, I found myself lost in life’s direction, being suck into a quicksand of negativity, suffering from a lack of self-confidence and basically, losing sight of the simple pleasures and meaning in life. Instead, I was always on the go – Finding things and activities to do to keep me busy and occupied… Perhaps, to take my mind off a bigger picture that I still can’t quite figure out what it is yet.
The year was nothing quite like I would have envisioned it to be as – I was often frustrated and lost with the monotony of life. Finding contentment was a bit of a struggle for me. There were fleeting moments of happiness and excitement although most notwithstanding. It’s almost as if I’m existing but not living. What happened to the once carefree soul and spirit that I was?
However, there was always a constant that I turn to in times like that. My yoga mat. When I first signed on the dotted line of my yoga contract and handed my credit card to pay for a year-long of membership at Real Yoga, it was purely for the physical aspects. Being a jack of all trades, I have dabbled in many kinds of activities and sports – From combat to internal training to kayaking – but none was able to give me the exercise discipline that yoga (especially hot yoga) was able to instill in me. For many months straight, I was practically on a yoga high and was diligently going for regular classes. And I saw the benefits. Good-bye flabs (although I still have pockets of fats) and hello muscles! Having said that, laziness and procrastination got the better of me and I, unexpectedly, took a short hiatus from my yoga practice for close to a quarter of the year. Nonetheless, it took only 1 hot yoga class for me to re-discover the joys of yoga.
It was my rekindled relationship with yoga that made me reconnect with my inner self and joy. I know how “hippy” and “bullshit” it might sound to non-yogi but my second stint with yoga made me see and finally understand the benefits of yoga beyond the physical aspects. Sure, I’m still loving the fact that yoga, specifically ashtanga and vinyasa, is able to tone my body like never before but more importantly, it taught me how to live in the present. No wandering thoughts of the past or future. In fact, some people I know call yoga “a moving meditation” as it helps to keep your focus on life as it is at the present moment. In addition, I tend to focus on the breathe as I flow through the various yoga poses and while I never saw the importance in breath-work before; I, now, know how crucial it is in a yoga practice. It is, essentially, the breathe that helps push you further when you need the extra oomph to twist more or hold the pose longer.
It is on my yoga mat that I’m able to find some sort of sanctuary and peace (with myself). To be able to slowly take the moment to cast all worries and thoughts aside and simply focus on living in the present. To release the tumult of emotions and let go of some negative energy. For those who know me, I am not one who wear my emotions on my sleeve so it was quite a shock when I found myself tearing when faced with my emotions during some of my yoga classes. And I let it go rather than to keep it all pent up.
Some of my friends reckon that I’m addicted to yoga and I have never denied that I am an addict because my yoga mat provides me with a temporary outlet to escape and gives me the clarity that I sought for. It has taught me experiences and lessons to be more in-tune with life. But I know that it is ultimately left to me to make permanent changes to my life and mindset … For the better.
Why We Breathe – A Yoga Documentary
“Shot over the space of 6 months across the US, in a variety of situations and lucky encounters. Why We Breathe was born out of the idea to understand why people do the things they do. For the documentary, we wanted to ask the question, why do you do yoga? Why keep doing it? Why do you love it? We wanted to ask experienced yogis these questions, and gain an insight into the possibilities that yoga can offer.”