I know… It’s been a good couple of months since I last did a proper blog post and other than the usual superficial posts, my blog has been relatively a bore to read. In between the small pockets of free time that I had, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my life and the directions that I wish to take to make changes. Yes, I admit … I feel like I’ve been stuck in a rut, for way too long.
A girlfriend of mine just told me about how she tendered her resignation letter and is intending to take a 4 months long sabbatical to complete her certificate in interior design, have fun designing iphone applications and basically take the time to smell the roses. Whilst I believe that many will gasp in shock or horror to learn about her decision to quit without a job (after all, it’s often seen as a NO-NO in our society), I honestly have nothing but full admiration towards her for taking this brave step. Frankly to speak, I’ve been harboring this crazy little idea about leaving my job and heading to Thailand for a short job stint or joining the team onboard VEGA to learn about the ropes of sailing a traditional boat. Nonetheless, the practical and safe side of me takes precede and keeps me in check. Up till now, I cannot seem to master the gut and courage to venture out of the well-trodden path and make the necessary changes. The fact that a recession is brewing in the very near future doesn’t help to convince me to take a unique path, one that diverts from the norm. In fact, it might just be the reason why I might try to convince myself to stay, for stability sake. Oh god!
Come to think of it, I do believe that many of my friends and peers are facing what is called “The Quarterlife Crisis“. Upon graduation, we enter the workforce with the goal of earning a salary and climbing the corporate ladder. Along the way, most of us went with the flow and not surprisingly, after a couple of years, we are faced with the harsh reality that something is missing despite our comfort zone. On one hand, we want to make changes to increase the quality of living; Yet, on the other hand, we are afraid of what the changes might bring forth. Will it be moving from one sh*thole to another? Are we ready to suffer a pay cut and start all over again? Are we ready to adapt to a new environment? A world of uncertainty awaits whenever there are changes.
This boils down to the important question, “What is it that I want out of life right now?“. Previously, my idea of the “perfect life” was the typical dream … To get a job that gives me a sense of satisfaction and pays well, have an active social life, take a gap year to travel around the world and continue with the rat race to build up a career. Yet, 2 years into the working life, I realised that people and priorities change. The lack of focus and real interest has made me feel like I’m existing but not living when it comes to my 2nd home. No longer do I find the drive or motivation to excel in what I’m doing … In a way, it does feel like I’m short-changing myself and life for fleeting moments of happiness. Sigh. Why is it always so difficult for us to initiate the step(s) to make a change despite knowing ,deep down, that there’ s something that we can do about it? I wonder, how will my life pan out for me by the end of this year … for the better or still the same?