. the quarterlife crisis .

I know… It’s been a good couple of months since I last did a proper blog post and other than the usual superficial posts, my blog has been relatively a bore to read. In between the small pockets of free time that I had, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my life and the directions that I wish to take to make changes. Yes, I admit … I feel like I’ve been stuck in a rut, for way too long. 

A  girlfriend of mine just told me about how she tendered her resignation letter and is intending to take a 4 months long sabbatical to complete her certificate in interior design, have fun designing iphone applications and basically take the time to smell the roses. Whilst I believe that many will gasp in shock or horror to learn about her decision to quit without a job (after all, it’s often seen as a NO-NO in our society), I honestly have nothing but full admiration towards her for taking this brave step. Frankly to speak, I’ve been harboring this crazy little idea about leaving my job and heading to Thailand for a short job stint or joining the team onboard VEGA to learn about the ropes of sailing a traditional boat.  Nonetheless, the practical and safe side of me takes precede and keeps me in check. Up till now, I cannot seem to master the gut and courage to venture out of the well-trodden path  and make the necessary changes. The fact that a recession is brewing in the very near future doesn’t help to convince me to take a unique path, one that diverts from the norm.  In fact, it might just be the reason why I might try to convince myself to stay, for stability sake. Oh god!

Come to think of it, I do believe that many of my friends and peers are facing what is called “The Quarterlife Crisis“. Upon graduation, we enter the workforce with the goal of earning a salary and climbing the corporate ladder. Along the way, most of us went with the flow and not surprisingly, after a couple of years, we are faced with the harsh reality that something is missing despite our comfort zone. On one hand, we want to make changes to increase the quality of living; Yet, on the other hand, we are afraid of what the changes might bring forth. Will it be moving from one sh*thole to another? Are we ready to suffer a pay cut and start all over again? Are we ready to adapt to a new environment? A world of uncertainty awaits whenever there are changes. 

This boils down to the important question, “What is it that I want out of life right now?“. Previously, my idea of the “perfect life” was the typical dream … To get a job that gives me a sense of satisfaction and pays well, have an active social life, take a gap year to travel around the world and continue with the rat race to build up a career. Yet, 2 years into the working life, I realised that people and priorities change. The lack of focus and real interest has made me feel like I’m existing but not living when it comes to my 2nd home. No longer do I find the drive or motivation to excel in what I’m doing … In a way, it does feel like I’m short-changing myself and life for fleeting moments of happiness. Sigh. Why is it always so difficult for us to initiate the step(s) to make  a change despite knowing ,deep down, that there’ s something that we can do about it? I wonder, how will my life pan out for me by the end of this year … for the better or still the same? 

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16 responses to “. the quarterlife crisis .

  1. hey there, I found your blog through Perfume Store.sg, although I think I may have popped by before 🙂

    I’m way past quarter-life but I hear you! If you can afford it, plan and take 6 months or a year out to do what’s really important to you. It is a lot easier when you’re young and without kids. I wish I did so a couple of years back!

    • Hi there! 🙂

      I see that you’re a blog friend of perfumestore.sg too! Anyway, was reading your blog and I realised that you’re a friend of Adora as well. We used to be colleagues and in fact, I just assisted her in 1 of her craft session yesterday. What a small world!

      What you said is really true… People who have been through more in life have always told me to take a few mths or even a year off to do something that really means alot to me, be it to travel (something that i definitely want to do), pursue a hobby, etc, especially when we are younger and have lesser commitments. It’s always taking the first step out of our comfort zone that is rather terrifying. I hope to be able to conquer my fear and take that step one day soon. Thank you for giving me a word of advice 🙂

  2. i understand the feeling that you go through. I always have the mindset to move on the comfort zone of my own but no courage to take the step until one day.
    I have no regrets now as i know i learned to be a better person.
    Take ur time to explore

    • Hi Hazel 🙂

      Glad to know another person who has successfully ventured out of her comfort zone to better her quality of life. I’m glad that things have worked out fine for you eventually.

      I’ve alot of things that I want to do but yes, need to take the time to truly give it some time, re-organise my priorities and more importantly, not procrastinate for too long! :p lol.

  3. Hi Steph, I’m definitely having the quarterlife crisis you mentioned & my blog is one of the changes I decide to make! :)) Meet up with the rest soon?

    – Eileen (ur uni mate!)

    • Hey Eileen!

      I didn’t know that you have a new blog! Just took a look at it and man, you’re really going to the different food places with ur camera in tow! I’ll add ur new blog to my blog link… great for introductions to new food places that I haven’t been to.

      I’ve been so MIA lately, with work, studies and rest taking up the bulk of my time! Anyway, I think most people our age are facing this quarterlife crisis.. Have talked to quite a no of my friends about it and it seems almost inevitable that most of us are facing this situation whereby we want more out of life but are conform to the societal pressures to having a good job and such.

  4. Transitions are always scary.. 😦 Now I feel more fearful of the future after reading about your quarterlife crisis, cuz I’m nearing it!!

    • Hey:)

      Oh no, I don’t intend to make anyone feel afraid of what the future holds. Don’t think about it, changes are inevitable so for now, really do enjoy the present and moment! Well, I have friends who are simply very contented with what they have at the moment – relationship, work, friendship, etc so maybe, you might find yourself that in that happy-go-lucky position! 🙂

  5. Hello Blisschic,
    I understand what you are going through as I went through it too, though I’ve already passed my quarterlife crisis about 5 years ago…
    Sometimes the thing about change is no matter how scary it is, it is a step that we may have to take. As they say, when one door closes, a new door opens. Life is like that. 🙂
    But seriously, based on my experience, change is indeed a scary thing. But when we take that leap of faith… things could be way better than it was. 🙂
    BTW one trick that I use to make a change is to tell important people I’m going to do “something”. Usually I can’t take back my words, so I had no choice but to do it. 🙂
    -Jen

    • Hello Jen

      Thanks for your encouraging comment! I totally understand your trick … sometimes, i do that as well… as a way to convince myself but in the event that it doesn’t work out, i do get embarrassed because things didn’t work out as I expect them to be. It’s the whole “losing your face value” factor i guess! :p

      I once read a blogger commenting on how luck is a cycle.. there are days when we feel like we are the luckiest person on earth and other days which are so sucky that we spend hours mulling over it. In a way, it’s similar to how life is… Like you mentioned, when 1 door closes, a new door opens… and usually to a whole new experience and exposure. Been lucky to receive insightful comments from you guys which gives me a clearer idea of the direction i should take. 🙂

      • Hey Blisschic,
        Re. “losing your face value”, hmmm… I think I’ve lost that along the way LOL (maybe I’m too old now..;;^^)… I just found that usually when someone jumps into something totally different/new, there are always pros and cons. But at the end of the day I tend to see the positives, rather than the negatives. But, good luck no matter what is your decision! 🙂

  6. steph I love this post. I’m still not even done my undergrad yet but I completely feel where this is coming from –I’m graduating this year without a clue where my degree will bring me, and constantly worried about whether I’ll find a job that I love but that also bring in some money. I think it’s something that our generation is going to be struggling with for a while.

    In in the end though, I get a feeling that it’ll all work out. If you ever do decide to leave it all behind and try something new, I’m sure you’ll be a real success at it!

    take care,
    kira

  7. I know exactly what you’re taking about coz I felt almost exactly the same way as you do when I was your age few years back. I hope you find the courage to take the first step. I just did. The feeling is indecribable.

    • Hi Jolene!

      It’s funny how so many of my peers and i are kinda stuck in this quarterlife crisis. Back when we were students, we always thought that we had great ambitions to conquer our “dreams”. Yet, as we mature, we soon realised that our goals might not be what we are contented with pursuing at the moment yet it’s daunting to step out of one’s comfort zone. Lots of “What ifs” and hesitation.

  8. Pingback: . quarterlife crisis: changes are inevitable . | the girl at the traffic light junction

  9. Your posting is abulestloy on the point!

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