Another month flew by just like that. Honestly, it didn’t feel too long ago that I just celebrated the countdown to 2010 with my pals in Sentosa. A month ago, I made a promise to myself that I’ll start taking baby steps to be contented with my life instead of living it on an automated mode. March had been rather bleak and I often found myself uninspired by many things. So, how was April?
I was randomly surfing the internet one day when I came across an article, “Are you sleepingwalking your life away?” ,that quipped my interest almost immediately. To summarize it, the article wrote that there are many of us who are simply “going through the motions in life” as if “we are living life in an unconscious state“. According to the article, we do the things that are expected of us, but ironically, without much zest or drive.
In retrospect, I’m beginning to see what was bringing me down for the past couple of months. There’s a major aspect in my life that makes me feel like I’m “droning my life away” and that my life isn’t as balanced as I expect it to be. People close to me would probably hear me rant non-stop about how much I detest this particular aspect. The thing is, I know that I’m quite miserable with the situation that I’m stuck in, but like what Celestine had stated in her article, I remain passive about the situation because I am afraid that there might not be a better alternative. Am I able to give up the comforts that I have right now for something else that’s uncertain… all because I believe that the grass is greener on the other side (which we know, is not always true)? Or, am I just trying to convince myself that things will somehow become better with given time and a temporary compromise? The more I ponder about this issue, the more it seems like I’m holding on to it because of my fear of what’s to become after this… the uncertain future. Yes, uncertainty somehow doesn’t bode well with my low appetite for risk, especially when it comes to finance & stability. However, there will come a time when I have to face the facts and make the decision ultimately. As long as I don’t attempt to resolve the problem – be it to flee for the supposedly greener pastures or to change my attitude and be satisfied with the current situation – this issue will always remain … hidden under a facade.
A guy friend of mine once told me that he wants to create la dolce vita after hearing a story of how the construction workers in Milan end a hard day at work with “bread, a bottle of wine, and flowers in their hands“. To quote Koey, “We don’t seem to live that way, but wouldn’t it be nice?” Ah, the good life indeed.
Back to the original question – How was April? All the pondering about that particular aspect of my life aside, April has certainly been a whirlwind month. Tried my hand at kite-flying, despite not flying a kite for close to 2 decades. Dropped my beloved camera during 1 of my excursion, only to realise that it’s damaged for good ( and it was barely 4mths ago that I got it as a gift!). Pampered myself with a luxurious spa getaway in Batam with my boy. Received news that MK’s dad and my grandpa were hospitalized during my company retreat in Beijing. It was only when loved ones suffer a close shave with death that we take a step back and re-evaluate our priorities. The stark irony in life. Here, I would also like to take this chance to thank those who expressed their concern. 🙂
Excursions to Kranji War Memorial & Japanese Cemetery Park over Good Friday weekend. Let’s go fly a kite at Marina Barrage. 2 fun-filled family BBQs at the front yard. Whisk me to paradise at Tempat Senang, Batam. My virgin trip to Beijing, China. A race around Singapore on the Amazing Maritime Race. Free tickets to watch the musical, Chicago. Became a sponsor to a shelter dog, Mario. 27th April also marked a year since we adopted Archie … 1 of the happiest day in my life.