Days of being unemployed on a self-imposed break
It’s already been 7 weeks since my last paper … Days that went by faster than I thought it will. It’s funny how life
always turns out the way you least expect it. As mentioned before, I had well-thought of plans as to how I want to fully enjoy the holidays or to take this time to learn new stuff, before embarking on the constant grill of working world. YET life with its many changes just brought me on an unexpected journey so far. Now that I have lots of time at hand, it’s good to self-reflect and ponder on the weeks that flew by just like that. First week was great- Last week of a great internship. Archie came into our lives. Second Week- Getting adjusted to having care for a rambunctious puppy. Audi Fashion Festival, new friends. From third week onwards, it was just the usual meet-ups with many friends, going for interviews and being a full-time companion to Archie Boy ( more on that later). And, that was it.
At times, I feel like Im just wasting precious moments, doing nothing meaningful nor productive. The constant routine of watching after Archie and heading out with loved ones & friends was actually boring me out. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy those moments. I do, of course, but what I need is something refreshing ; to do something for a change! Come to think of it, Im much to be blamed for all that happened … all thanks to my indecisiveness. Like what baby mentioned, on one hand – My initial plan was to take the chance to travel, volunteer and perhaps pick up a new hobby or two, or improve on my ever pathetic command of Chinese. A break till convocation. On another hand, the oh-too-frequent question of “Have you found a job yet?” made me felt like a bummer and so I couldn’t help but to send in a couple of resumes now & then. Granted, Im really fortunate to have been shortlisted for quite a few interviews and then selected again for 2nd/3rd interviews for all. But there was so much waiting time in-between each round. Waiting time that made me idle around and not able to firm up travel plans. It frustrated me to no end that thanks to my lack of decisiveness that i ended up nowhere near my initial goals.
The last couple of weeks hit me the most; to simply put it, i felt demoralized. It hit upon me that what baby said is true – That I am unsure of what I want to gain out of this break. It so happened that each time I made up my mind about traveling to somewhere, a job interview presents itself and being fickle, I find myself stuck in the dilemma, not once or twice but 4 times! Like an internal struggle within myself to make the “so-called correct” decision. On top of that, having too much free time has ironically become a burden … I feel as if Im losing my sense of identity with each passing day. While most would gladly welcome this relaxing change of pace to their lifestyles, I however felt as if each day was yet another day of “fruitless toil, full of despair” for nothing seems to be accomplished. Whatever happened to my “to-do-list” ? Yes, I allowed the downfalls to get to me and bring my spirits down. 😦 Just need some direction in life to get me moving forward. This halt in life will just be temporary, for I’m determined to finally make things work out and go my way regardless of things have been playing out thus far.
GOOD NEWS !!! Archie has been adopted
By MK and Yours Truly !
for the unconditional love that you provide us